Kumar Will Share The Stage With Jasmine Sokko At A National Day Concert, But Doesn’t Know Who She Is
They are both among over 20 stars performing at a free National Day Concert at Gardens By The Bay,
Kumar’s too glam to give a damn. The 50-year-old local comedian is painfully low-tech, and super proud of it. He doesn’t own an ATM card, or any social media accounts, for that matter, and doesn’t get why “young people would do anything to get a like [on socials]”.
“I don’t like modern technology! I try to stay away!” he tells us. So can we expect Kumar to poke fun at millennials during his segment at the National Day Concert held over Aug 10 and 11 at Gardens by the Bay? (By the way, did we mention that the gig is free?)
“That’s actually a pretty good idea! The script’s not done yet, I think I’ll talk about this!” Is Singapore’s OG comedian taking suggestions from us? We’re flattered.
We spend the next 40 minutes chatting to the affable star over the phone about Singapore, because you know, National Day’s round the corner. During our conversation, he churns out hilarious anecdotes like he’s performing at one of his regular shows at Canvas. To wit: “The father plays [mobile games], his son plays, cross the road also play, play until LTA need to put green lights on the floor [at pedestrian crossings]! Even then, they still don’t move!”
Kumar performs on the second day of the National Day gig and by the sound of it, he can’t wait. “Singaporeans are very stressed out, so I think it’s good for everyone to come out and have a laugh.”
PIC CREDITS: Comedy At Canvas and Kumar
8 DAYS: What topics are you going to tackle for this National Day performance?
KUMAR: I’ll be talking mostly about relationships and men and women… A lot of marriages don’t work out and there’re a lot of single people because men don’t understand women and women don’t understand men. So I’m the best person to talk about this topic! (Laughs)
Is there any topic you’d steer clear of this time round?
There’ll be no politics and no sex, ‘cos it’s a family crowd. I can’t do my normal stuff. (Laughs) Besides, Gardens By The Bay is such a nice place, how can I make inappropriate jokes? (Laughs)
Is there anything happening in Singapore lately that’s got you all triggered?
I was reading the papers about e-scooters. I think they should do something like ban it ‘cos there’s way too many people speeding and injuring others. Riders love to speed, and it’s so inconsiderate. They think everyone should give way to them. I really don’t get it. Just walk lah, for heaven’s sake! Ah, I think I’ll talk about this topic at my show.
You mean you haven’t planned your script yet? The show’s in a couple of weeks!
I still have about one or two topics left. Don’t worry lah, I think something new will come out by the time it’s August.
Where do you get inspiration from?
From whatever I observe, and friends who tell me stories about their families. Currently, I think that younger children, especially primary to secondary school kids, are extremely rude these days. One of my Indian friends told me that their kid was blatantly asked why he’s so black. I am so shocked that they are so rude. It’s getting out of hand ‘cos parents are so busy working that they’re not around to take care of their children. You see, all of them are making videos on Tik Tok! They’d do anything to get a like! Ya, I’m going to talk about this at the show too! These young people are crazy!
You know about Tik Tok despite not being active on social media?
My friends told me about it. I have zero social media! (Laughs) It makes me angry to see people post stupid things, like no life ah? (Laughs) Oh! Another pet peeve of mine is when people use their phones when we go out for dinner! Like how many times do you want to check? Don’t go out lah, all stay at home, have a relationship with your phone lah.
You poke fun at the current trends for a living but you’re inactive on social media. How do you stay up to date with the latest news?
I read lor. I buy the physical newspaper regularly. Actually, my fav was 8 DAYS until you guys stopped print. So sad!
Aww, thanks. What are some things young people do that you don’t understand?
Falling in love so young. I think some kids are already holding hands in primary school. Like, what’s the hurry? I also don’t understand girls who wear their shorts with their pockets showing. I feel like pulling them all the time!
Okay, it seems like you’re quite well-versed with the current trends. We’ll gonna test you with some quick fire questions.
Oh my God, okay okay okay.
What are the first things that come to your mind when someone says: Tik Tok
Siao!
Boomerang?
(Pauses) It’s that moving thing! Where people move!
Jasmine Sokko?
Don’t know…
She’s the headline act for Day 2 of the National Day Concert...
Oh really? Where is she from? Singer ah? I don't know, I only know that I’m going to perform for eight minutes. But I do know local artistes like Joanna Dong and Nathan Hartono.
The Sam Willows?
Sam what? Oh Benjamin [Kheng]! I don't know anyone else [in the group]. But I think they’re very good.
Have you listened to their music?
No.
Okay, moving on. What do you think of when someone says ‘meme’?
Sorry? A meme? How to spell? Oh! I’ve heard of it, it’s like an emoji? Like a GIF?
Salty?
Salty? Salty dog?
It’s to describe people who are bitter/ jealous /upset towards something or someone.
Oh really? There’s such a word? It’s like sour grapes lah! (Laughs)
Since National Day is around the corner, let's talk about Singapore. If you were head of Singapore Tourism Board, how will you promote our country?
STB is always promoting food, so I won’t do that. I would promote our multi-raciality, because we all live harmoniously together and speak all kinds of languages. Actually you know what? I don’t want to promote Singapore. There’s too many foreigners already! Don’t want any more to come lah!
What do Singaporeans do that is your biggest pet peeve?
Men carrying their girlfriend’s handbag! That is so irritating! It’s just not nice.
If you could change three laws in Singapore, what would it be?
I would make chewing gum legal. By the way, did you know that hugging without permission here is illegal? That’s crazy! But I don’t think it’s actually practiced lah. Ah! Remove that 10.30pm alcohol ban lah. (Laughs) And, ban e-scooters!
Our SG, Our Celebration is on Aug 10-11, 4-9.30pm, at The Meadow at Gardens by the Bay. Admission is free. For more information, visit www.gardensbythebay.com.sg/nationaldayconcert.
